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There are certain things every Texan should know how to do and say, whether your Lone Star roots reach all the way back to the 1836 Republic or you were just transplanted here yesterday. Some of these may be second nature to you, but others . . . well, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a few handy hints if, say, branding the herd or hosting a tamalada aren’t your usual pastimes. That’s where How to Be a Texan can help.
In a friendly, lighthearted style, Andrea Valdez offers illustrated, easy-to-follow steps for dozens of authentic Texas activities and sayings. In no time, you’ll be talking like a Texan and dressing the part; hunting, fishing, and ranching; cooking your favorite Texas dishes; and dancing cumbia and two-step. You’ll learn how to take a proper bluebonnet photo and build a Día de los Muertos altar, and you’ll have a bucket list of all the places Texans should visit in their lifetime. Not only will you know how to do all these things, you’ll finish the book with a whole new appreciation for what it means to be a Texan and even more pride in saying “I’m from Texas” anywhere you wander in the world.
Valdez’s book is a must-read manual for anyone looking to learn more about the wild and wonderful state.
If the title’s not enough of a selling point, consider a few of the important life lessons that TexasMonthly.com editor Andrea Valdez’s essential Texas tome will teach you, including, but not limited to, how to brand the herd, how to host a tamalada, how to survive cedar fever, how to cook brisket, how to noodle for catfish, and how to float the river.
- Texas, the Texas Identity, and Me
- I. Talk Like a Texan
- Essential Vocabulary: Words and Phrases (and One Hand Gesture) You Oughta Know
- ¿Hablas Spanglish?
- A Highly Idiosyncratic Selection of Favorite Texas Sayings
- You’re Saying It Wrong: A Pronunciation Guide to Places in Texas
- Root for the Home Team
- Don’t Mess With Texas: More Than a Slogan
- II. Look Like a Texan
- Buy Custom Cowboy Boots
- Attach Spurs to Those Boots
- Choose a Belt Buckle
- Wear a Cowboy Hat
- Get Big Hair
- III. Rites of Passage
- Handle the Texas Flag
- Take a Bluebonnet Photo
- Attend Fiesta in San Antonio
- Celebrate Juneteenth
- Go to a Star Party
- Build a Día de los Muertos Altar
- Survive Cedar Fever
- Shoot a .22
- IV. Tend the Ranch
- Go Water Dowsing
- Build a Barbed Wire Fence
- Shoe a Horse
- Cut the Herd
- Rope a Calf
- Brand the Herd
- Barrel Race
- Wrangle a Rattlesnake
- V. Hunting and Fishing
- Cut for Sign
- Tie a Texas Rig
- Noodle for Catfish
- Hunt for Dove
- Bag a Javelina
- Field Dress a Deer
- Tan a Hide
- VI. Cook Like a Texan
- Pork Tamales
- Chili and Frito Pie
- Texas Caviar
- Breakfast Tacos
- Barbacoa
- Brisket
- King Ranch Chicken Casserole
- Fried Chicken
- Kolaches
- Pecan Pie
- Margarita
- VII. Relax Like a Texan
- Spit Watermelon Seeds
- Play 42
- Float the River
- Tailgate
- Two-Step
- Square Dance
- Cumbia
- VIII. Tour Like a Texan
- The Texas Capitol Building
- Barton Springs
- Gruene Hall
- Cadillac Ranch
- Dealey Plaza
- Southfork Ranch
- Spindletop
- Mirador de la Flor
- The Alamo
- The Window Trail at Big Bend National Park
- Acknowledgments